brain: do you have your wallet?
me: *slaps my ass so hard everyone in the target can hear it*
me: yeah
Vielleicht gefällt dir das
brain: do you have your wallet and your phone and your keys and your pocket knife and y-
me: *playing my ass and thighs like a bongo set at this point*
10 year old me was so pissed that Gabriella would sacrifice true love for a dumb school but 2014 me now accepts that Gabriella was smart like home girl knew she could find dick everywhere YALL SHE GOT INTO FUCKIN STANFORD. FUCKIN. STANFORD. FUK TROY BOLTON’S WHITE ASS
In the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me, then he slapped my ass and said “back to business.” I’m going to marry him.
This
Repeat after me: I am a fucking awesome person who has dealt with so much shit and made it through it all & i’m still cute, smart, funny, nice, intelligent and I kick ass.
Any guy: *is nice to me*
My damaged ass brain: he is The One
Being a woman is hard af.
No boobs? Damn. Grow some. Boobs? Cover yourself. You’re so vulgar. No ass? Everyone will laugh at you for it. Ass? Well, better cover yourself cause you don’t wanna draw attention to that booty, right? Short? You need to wear those heels. Tall? Damn. You cannot be taller than men. Also, never wear heels. Skinny? Gotta gain weigh cause no one likes bones. Chubby? Eat healthy!!!! Nobody likes fat bitches. You like makeup? Hell no. Taking you swimming on the first date. No makeup? Please, take care of yourself. Don’t be so lazy.
We, women, are constantly shamed for everything so we, as well, might do whatever we want.
Don’t you mind?
I prefer a “baby I’m busy right now but I’ll call you as soon as I get a chance” rather than 8 hours with no text back & a sorry ass excuse.